Peanuts, Swiffers, and California Screamin'.

What the poo. I just saw the most ridiculous thing ever. I just found a can labeled “MIXED NUTS Less than 50% Peanuts”. Why? Why would you want your Mixed Nuts to not even have HALF of it be peanuts?! I love peanuts. It is the manna from heaven. If I could, I would spend all day sitting on my couch, looking out the window, and eating tiny little miracles out of a can labeled “100% Purebred Perfect Little Peanuts”. Actually, I could only do that for a couple hours. I do have a life, you know, plus if I eat too many peanuts I start to get sores in my mouth. I really don’t know why I got this crazy urge to spend a piece of my lifetime typing up my deepest feelings for peanuts. This is like a Homer Simpson moment, you know? “Aww… $20… I wanted a peanut.” “With $20, you can buy many peanuts!” “’Splain how!” Maybe it’s because I just like to put off cleaning the bathroom floors, even if it is with our fabulous new Swiffer WetJet. And it is fabulous. I dig it.

Have you ever had a hero in your life? And not like a “Wow, he changed my life” hero, I mean the cliché kind. Like, they are the main character in your story (after you, of course), your days always involve something to do with them, they are the loyal sidekick in your own autobiography. Has your sidekick ever sidekicked your right in the a-word? In other words, have you ever had a friend completely turn into someone (or something) else? Unfortunately, I have. Recently, in fact. Last Saturday. What kind of sick person makes you cry in effing Disneyland? That is just not okay by any standards, especially not mine. Especially because that sick person made me miss riding California Screamin’. I love that ride, and I didn’t get to ride it all weekend. Believe me, I am heartbroken about that fact. Oh I was sad, I cried, I bawled like an overly sensitive teenage girl (oh… wait…), but I forgave him and we are friends again. But things are different, you know? Strained. Tense. Uncomfortable. Awkward. I seem to have lots of relationships like that lately, and I don’t love it. I wonder what will pan out after graduation? Hmm…
On a happier note… well, what should I talk about? I have happy stories, I really do. I get to see 4 of my siblings tomorrow! Whoo! I love my family. Whenever I talk about how much I love family get-togethers to my friends, some of them literally don’t understand. They honestly don’t get why I wish all my family lived within an hour of each other, or why they’re all I ever talk about. Why is that? What is it about my family that makes me love them so much? I happened to run into my brother in LA last weekend, and I later cried for two reasons: I was inexpressibly overjoyed that I was able to see him (even though I’m going to see him tomorrow… yeah, weird, I know.), and I was so sad that we probably spent a total of about 12 minutes together that night. Right before “Wicked,” in the intermission, and right after. And then there’s good ole’ Todd, who is my best friend. Once, he actually spent three entire HOURS trying to cheer me up. We won’t go into detail about how THAT one ended, but still, the motion impressed me to no end. Gah I love my family. I just can’t get over it. We are so cool and we have so much fun and this last summer is one that I’ll never forget, for a lot of reasons. One: Hawkeye. (If you don’t get it, don’t worry about it.) Two: Florida/Taylor’s wedding/Barnes’. Three: We made history. When all six of the Dean and Pam Anderson offspring played Nerts, and it was a fair game. Back when I was a youngin’, I was too yittle to stand up to the wrath of losers. But now (unfortunately), I am seen as fair game. Still, that was possibly one of the most epic battles I’ve ever had the privilege to have part in. Okay well, I’m just gonna wrap this up, so I only have two more things to say. To those that don’t understand it, I am so sorry. And I hope you do someday. And to my family: I love you and I can’t wait to see you!