For Kyle

Kyle: I call being the hound. Me: That's fine. I'm kind of a fox anyways. Love you, Best Friend. (:

Inspired by a text message to my friend Billy.

The other night, my friend Billy invited me to go hot tubbing with him and a few other friends. And by "a few other friends", I mean "eight or nine guys, most of which I have never met". It was interesting.

One of these people that I didn't know happened to be highly attractive, both physically and personality-wise. He was a cool guy and after talking, I decided my interest had been piqued. But I have a deep, deep fear of ever mentioning how single I am to an attractive guy's face and then have them say something to the effect of "You know what? I think you would really like my girlfriend's brother." So I pulled a chicken move.

A while after I got home, I texted Billy and said "So on a scale of one to ten (one being married/gay and ten being 'on the lookout'), how single is _____?"

This inspired me to create what I'd now like to introduce to you as the Average Person's Easy Guide to Singleness.

0: Dead
1: Married/gay
2: Engaged/co-habitant
3: In a very serious relationship
4: In a steady relationship
5: In a new or unstable relationship
6: In an unofficial relationship (I like her/him, s/he likes me, but that's about it)
7: Single, but interested in someone else
8: Single, but not really looking for anything
9: Whatever happens, happens
10: On the prowl or "Let's DO this [thing], Brian!"

There. I hope this aids some of you in your search for the perfect single person.

P.S. By the way, he was a 10. Soo... more on this story as it develops.

P.P.S. This story has slightly developed. So far so good. That's all I have to say.

I Love Me

I love my eyes. I love my teeth. I love my lips. I love my cheeks. I love my feet. I love my hands. I love my gate. I love my nose. I love my ears. I love my belly. I love my butt. I love my tongue. I love my toes. I love my elbows. I love my muscles. I love my knees. I love my taste. I love my smile. I love my hair. I love my back. I love my bones. I love my veins. I love my pancreas. I love my lungs. I love my larynx. I love my sweat. I love my shoulders. I love my blood. I love my moles. I love my art. I love my moves. I love my spine. I love my skin. I love my height. I love my lobes. I love my liver. I love my shins. I love my neck. I love my thighs. I love my ankles. I love my thoughts. I love my soul. I love my music. I love my pride. & I love you.

--Jason Mraz

I didn't know that was allowed...

Today I checked my Facebook and found a direct message from my friend Garrett, who has been on his mission since July. I was a little bit baffled, since most missionaries aren't really allowed to get on Facebook. But as I read his message, I learned that he has actually been called to also serve as an "online missionary." What this means is that he created a separate account on Facebook as well as a blog to help bring people into the gospel. I didn't know they did this, but I did a little investigating and found out it's really kind of a cool thing. Anyways, I just thought I'd share this. Here's the link for his blog. Enjoy!

Of course.

I would be the person to walk into a world-famous lingerie store and walk out with only a bottle of overpriced laundry detergent.

I have a problem.

But hey. It smells fantastic.

Oh dreams. Again.

1: I had a dream last night that me and Jeff Ure and some girl named Brittany that was apparently my best friend were all in the same Fossil Studies class. We were supposed to be studying for a test, but we decided to go to some random middle school basketball game instead. When that was over, we decided to go to Six Flags. But when we got there, it was raining. That made us very sad. So we came back and studied anyways. The end.

Something is horribly wrong with my brain. So many things are wrong with that dream.

1: I barely even know Jeff, and we definitely don't have any classes together.
2: I don't have any friends named Brittany, let alone best friends.
2a: In my dream, I made the connection that Brittany was Jeff's little sister that was my age... I'm not sure, but I don't think he has any sisters my age?
3: Fossil Studies is not a class offered at SUU. I'm not sure if it's even offered anywhere.
3a: I would never take that class, even if it was available.
4: I don't know any middle schoolers here, so why would I go to their game?
4a: I hate "little league" basketball. It drives me crazy.
5: I've been to Six Flags while it was raining... it really wasn't too bad.

Now I'll tell you about the dream I had while I took a nap this afternoon.

2: In my dream, I was laying on my bed sleeping, exactly like I was in reality. I woke up to find Romeo sitting at the foot of my bed, Cory standing on my desk, Chase on my desk chair, and Devan sitting on the floor.I said "Oh, hey guys! How'd you get in here?" I realized I was holding a cracker, and started to eat it. They told me that my roommates let them in, and I was cool with it. We talked for a little bit, then they all started giggling, and finally Romeo said "You know none of this is real, right?" I asked him what he was talking about, so he pulled a banana cream pie out of nowhere and threw it at Cory's face. And Cory just laughed. Then they all told me I was dreaming, and to try and wake up.

So I did. But this time, it was dark outside, and everyone had traded places. Chase was sitting on my bed, Devan was on the desk, Romeo was on the floor, and Cory was in the chair. I was still eating a cracker. They started talking, and I said "Wait... is this a dream again you guys?" Then all of them did the elbow thing and said "Ahhhh she got us! Oh Jenny, you're getting good! Okay, now try to really wake up."

So I did. This time, I woke up in reality. No crackers or band members. Talk about an Inception-esque dream.

I always have crazy dreams like this. And I usually remember them. Don't even get me started on the one about Denzel Washington and the Buick. I wonder why my "unique" dreams are so vivid?

Thoughts?

Dear Gym Crush,

I asked Kate Nash to write this song for you, from me. She took some of her own liberties (for instance, I did not proceed to get drunk and cry, and everything that my friends said? Yeah, that was for a previous crush. Oh, and I hate CSI.), but it's generally pretty accurate. Hope you see where I'm comin from now. (:

We Get On by Kate Nash

Simply knowing you exist ain’t good enough for me
But asking for your telephone number
seems highly inappropriate

Seeing as I can't
even say hi
when you walk by

And that time you shook my hand it felt so nice
I swear I've never felt this way about any other guy
and I don’t usually notice people's eyes but…

I’ve conducted a plan
To bump into you most accidentally
but
I was walking along
and I bumped into you
much more heavily than I'd originally planned.
It was well embarrassing and
I think you thought that I was a bit of a [twit].

I just think that we'd get on
Oh I wish I could tell you face to face
instead of singing this stupid song
but yeah I just think that we might get on

So I went to that party
everyone they were kind of arty
And I was wearing this dress
'cause I wanted to impress
But I wasn't sure if I look my best
'cause I was so nervous
But I carried on regardless
strutting through each room
trying to find you

And when I saw you kissing that girl
My heart, it shattered
and my eyes, they watered
and when I tried to speak I stu-uttered

And my friends were like "Whatever,
you'll find someone better,
his eyes are way too close together
and we never even liked him from the start.
And now he's with that tart,

and I heard she'd done some really nasty stuff
down in the park with Michael.
He said she's easy
and if your guys with someone that's sleazy
then he ain't worth your time
cause you deserve a real nice guy"

So I proceeded to get drunk and to cry
I locked myself in the toilets for the entire night

Saturday night, I watch Channel 5
I particularly like CSI
I don't ever dream about you and me
I don't ever make up stuff about us
that would be classed as insanity

I don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in
I don't even have an opinion on that tramp
that you are still seeing

I don't know your timetable
I don't know your face off by heart
but I must admit that there is a part
that still thinks that we might get on
that we might get on
that we could get on
that we should get on.

Sometimes I make treats.

I saw these rainbow layered cupcakes in a little brochure and instantly wanted to make them. It took 2 hours and a lot more effort than I'd originally anticipated, but they were worth it.

Delicious? I think yes.

I hate conflict.

I really, truly do. And I don’t generally take things like this public, but this is a blog and its purpose is for me to express myself. Plus this is a better outlet than venting my frustrations on the pour souls of the common room or fighting it out via Facebook like I’m 13 years old. I hereby declare that if you read this and feel offended in any way, it was your choice to read it or not. No one is making you listen to me. So here I go.

Nothing is more frustrating to me than a hypocrite.

For instance: “All Mormons are narrow-minded and judgmental.”*

Excuse me. But is it or is it not true that what you literally just said is a critical over-generalization? You say Mormons are narrow-minded because of their generally conservative beliefs, yet here you are claiming that every single person of the LDS religion is the same prejudiced human being. Is that not narrow-minded in itself?

I understand that everyone has their own beliefs. Not only do I have my religious beliefs, but I have opinions about politics and issues in society and professional football teams and candy bars and everything else, because why? Because I am a person with a mind. However, I do not in any way try to persuade others to believe the same way I do, unless they ask me about what I believe in. If I disagree with someone, I acknowledge the fact that they have a valid point, and politely declare that I will consider what they’ve had to say. That sounds like a load, but it’s true. I can’t stand when people won’t listen to my side of an argument, so who am I to refuse to hear theirs?

I do have one exception. The one belief I will press on anybody and everybody: Everyone deserves an opinion of their own. I am completely fine with it when someone tells me straight up that they don’t believe in the same things that I do. But one thing I absolutely will not tolerate is when they go so far as to tell me that what I believe in is wrong, and I shouldn’t believe in it either. If I don’t force my opinions on you, don’t you dare take it upon yourself to force your mind on me. Obviously I believe my faith to be true. If I thought it was a load of crap, then I wouldn’t believe in it. It’s as simple as that.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, so think what you will about me and my religion, but don’t ever, ever try and tell me that what I know and feel in my heart is wrong. Because I will defend it to the death, no matter what you try and tell me that society says.

There. I’m off my soap box. Continue with your day.

*This was inspired by a real conversation, but the girl who said it made a point to say “NOT all Mormons are judgemental and narrow-minded.” And I really appreciated that. I just used this as an example of something I do hear a lot.

Amazed.

Nothing about this day has been special enough to achieve “what a spectacular day!” status.

Except.

I was walking to the gym earlier and saw the most amazing shooting star I have ever seen in my life. It wasn’t a normal white-light-falling kind of thing. Not only did it last a full 3 seconds, but I swear on my life… it actually had sparks. You know when fireworks explode, and then all the little pieces come trickling down, and they’re still a little twinkly… that’s what it was like. The fact that I’d seen it, and knowing that if I’d left for the gym 5 minutes earlier or if I’d been texting or if I’d been trying not to step on any cracks in the sidewalk (which I do, all the time)… all of those things put me in a very pensive, appreciative mood. I've been walking on air ever since.

Looking back, today was nothing special. But looking forward, my life is, and tomorrow could be.

I love everything.

Explanation?

Perhaps this giant bowl is the reason I burn through cereal so fast.

But it's SO GOOD!!

I really love cereal. (:

Wake up, 18!

Ohh... so that's why I never type papers on my bed...

I may or may not have drooled a little.

Gus, don't be this crevice in my arm.

You know those days when you just KNOW everything is going to go horribly? Like, you wake up late, and since you went to bed with your hair wet it's just just too crazy to do anything with so you have to wear a hat? And then you don't get to eat anything for a long freaking time? And then, even though you signed up for one research study to participate in for your psychology class, you get there and find out someone else has taken your slot, so then you have to do ANOTHER study while you're waiting for the other person to get done, and then you have to do THAT one, too? You know... those days?

Well I'm gonna be honest with you. All of those things did happen to me except for one: I woke up this morning knowing it was going to be a super, super day. And you know what? So far, I'm right.

1: It is National Pancake Day. Know what that means? FREE PANCAKES AT IHOP. This is not a drill. I'm going there with Brianna very soon, actually. Whoo!
2: The snow is melting!
3: My gym crush added me on Facebook. And you know what else? He wrote on my Wall. Yeah. It's kind of a big deal.
4: I made a big big big decision last night that makes me feel better than I have in a very, very long time. It's kind of amazing, actually.

Anyways, I just thought I'd show off how super my day is going, and it's barely even noon. (: Have a splendid day, everyone!